Thank goodness we let these guys control the US history curriculum

Pastor, attorney, and walking hate crime Scott Lively is one of those good conservative folks who know their American history. These guys know their American history so well that, after a brief attempt at imparting some objectivity upon it, the College Board recently decided to just turn over its AP US history framework to these same conservatives to twist, distort, and abuse as they see fit make sure that America’s youth are learning The Truth, which is of course that America Is The Best.

It’s good that we let people like Lively decide what children should learn in their history classes, because he really knows his history. On Friday, for example, he explained that when the founders of this country wrote that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,” by “religion” they really meant “Christianity,” duh. Those other dumb religions don’t get Freedom, obviously:

“Well, I don’t actually believe in ‘religious freedom,’ the way that the term is used,” Lively explained. “I know that when you use it and when most people use it, you’re talking about Christianity. We’re not talking about freedom for Islam and freedom for Buddhism and Hinduism as if they’re equal with God.

Funny how he forgot to add “Judaism” there, even though it’s just as Not Christian as those other faiths (even more, arguably, than Islam, which at least likes Jesus even if it doesn’t like like him). But anyway, Lively blubbered on:

“The number-one Commandment is ‘You shall have no other gods before me.’ And when we forget that and we start accepting this concept of religious pluralism and we say that Jesus Christ is really no higher an authority in America than Buddha or Mohammed or even Satan, that’s when we have really dropped the ball and we have brought disfavor from God on us.”

See, obviously the Founding Fathers knew that Jesus is #1 when they wrote the First Amendment, and the only reason they use the generic “religion” instead of the specific “Christianity” is because they figured you later generations would be smart enough to know what they were talking about. You’re really turning out to be a big disappointment to James Madison and, um, let’s say John Hancock, you know? Shape it up, junior.

You’re just not going to get this deep and undoubtedly true understanding of American history from some hippie scumbag, like, for example, John Adams:

Art. 11. As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Mussulmen [Muslims]; and as the said States never entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mahometan [Muslim] nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.

Or Thomas Jefferson:

Be it enacted by General Assembly that no man shall be compelled to frequent or support any religious worship, place, or ministry whatsoever, nor shall be enforced, restrained, molested, or burthened in his body or goods, nor shall otherwise suffer on account of his religious opinions or belief, but that all men shall be free to profess, and by argument to maintain, their opinions in matters of Religion, and that the same shall in no wise diminish, enlarge or affect their civil capacities.

Seriously, though, what the hell do Thomas Jefferson and John Adams know? Did either of them ever write a highly influential book about how the Nazis were all homos? Did either of them advise the government of Uganda about how to make homosexuality a capital crime? Because Scott Lively did, so I think his credentials when it comes to historical and religious matters pretty much speak for themselves.

ABOVE: Human boil Scott Lively, wondering if the tie he picked out that morning is “too fruity” (Tim Pierce, via Wikimedia)

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